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As we made our way along the canal, appreciating the ale and the view, Humphrey told me something of himself, and why his wife had remained unplumbed, at least by him, for so many years.As I surmised, Humphrey Appleby had been born in Leicestershire, not far from the town of Melton Mowbray, famous for pork pies and Stilton cheese. The Applebys were gentry, Sir Crispin Appleby (Baronet), being the Master of The Quorn Hunt. The family could trace its roots back to a captain of archers present at the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, which accounted for the traditional forenames of Appleby males. Crispin for the saint, Henry for the King, Humphrey for the King’s brother who fought upon St Crispin’s Day, and Edward for the Duke of York, killed at the battle.Both of Humphrey’s brothers, Edward and Henry, were older than he was and had sons to carry on the Appleby line, thus Humphrey was content to remain a bachelor and have many liaisons. Unfortunately, when Humphrey graduated from Cambridge. But the bastard wheeled around and pulled out a gun. He shot twice. I dropped to the ground and fired two shots at him. It looks like at least one of my shots got the target.”“Were you hit?” Maria asked, still highly alarmed.“I got nicked,” he reported. “The son of a bitch ripped a hole in my suit jacket.”“Fuck your clothes!” Maria shouted. “Are you wounded?”“Nah, baby, I’m fine.” Then turning back he said, “But now I’ve got to go see if I killed the bastard. Go into the house and call the cops. Tell them there’s been a shooting in front of your house. Don’t tell them that you know anyone involved in the shooting. You are just a concerned citizen reporting a crime.”As Maria started to run back inside, Bob called her, “Hey. After you call them, put some clothes on. The sight of your hot body might distract the cops.” While waiting for the police to arrive, Bob sauntered toward the body, keeping his gun out and ready. He kicked the gun out of the man’s hand before he bent down to check.
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